I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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