The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
