Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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