you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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