For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
