So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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