she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
