:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
