Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
