i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
