ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
