he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
