OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
