Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
