chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
