you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
