How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
