I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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