she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I didn't notice because vodka
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
