hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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