Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
