Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
