I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
im on a boat
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