evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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