i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
