I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
