I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it glows. i had to have it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
