I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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