It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
