masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
