This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
