you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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