So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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