I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
