Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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