Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
