you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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