my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
