Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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