Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
