when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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