I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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