Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
smell my finger.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize