sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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