just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
