But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize