I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
