ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
