fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
