i just had sex bonerless
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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