She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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